Saturday, 1 May 2010

Rippov dead!

Today's issue of THE TRUTH, the Soviet Peoples' United Republic's official government newspaper, reports that the famous aircraft designer General Rippov died some days ago as a result of a freak accident.

General Rippov was cleaning his personal sidearm when it went off accidentally, shooting him three times in the back of the neck. The police officer investigating the incident – Major Alexei Nikasov of the People’s Security Bureau (PSB) – stated that 'It is incredible that such an experienced officer would clean a loaded gun, and that he would think it safe to wave it about in the way he must have done in order to inflict the injuries he suffered.'

Major Nikasov made no comment about a rumour that the gun must have been loaded with very unusual bullets as it is thought that three different calibre rounds were recovered during the autopsy.

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